Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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Video Games

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A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops