What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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