Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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what does a black guy and a chinease guy have is common? I don't know but it would be interesting to find out.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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What's worse than bad words? People who say them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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