Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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you will like this because i am black.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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