Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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