What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

What is yellow and corny? Corn.

Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

the lemon was sweet.

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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