why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

I am a women

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

Where's Waldo? Nowhere. Waldo is a fictional character. He doesn't exist.

funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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