So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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whats woorse then being stupid? kaelynn... aka big head

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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What do u call 4 black men in a car? A: carpooling

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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