Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

What did one hater say to the other hater? I hate you.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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