Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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