how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

what is white and red all over? a ginger

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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