What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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