What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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What did God say to the crying man? God doesn't exist.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? Starve it to death then chop it in pieces.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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You were born.

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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