why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Boob

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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