when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

What's worse than your dad dying in a car crash? Your mom being in the same car.

Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Charcoal is black, So is my neighbor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Idk

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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