Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A Jew returns change.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops