A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I'm a Schizophrenic And so am I

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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