What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? Nothing.She died on Thanksgiving day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,128

What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

69

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one orphan say to the other? My parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +306

What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

thumb_up thumb_down -6

ur gay and this joke sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops