If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Sarah Palin.

Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

It's all Taggart

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

why did the zebra cross the road?

Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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