Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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have you ever tried Ethiopian food? neither have they

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Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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