how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Your face is hilarious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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