Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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nolan is gay

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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