What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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gingers

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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Anything Dane Cook says

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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The WNBA.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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