What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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what do you call a black man falling off a cliff holy shit

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Eric is gay Ha

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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