Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops