knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Blind people can't read this.

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Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Japan called... They need help.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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