Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

thumb_up thumb_down +5

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops