Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

A man walks into a pole.

Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

What happened to the starving african kid? He died

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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