Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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Did you know that there is no A is "sodimizing"?

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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