Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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