Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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