Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

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why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Cool story bro. Tell it again.

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a black guy hates chicken.

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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