That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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what do you call a black guy african american

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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