Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

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What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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I told you it would happen

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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