Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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