Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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