Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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