Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

Half life 3 confirmed

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

you know what hurts.... PAIN

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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