Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS ROAD?!!! cause he was silly

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Black people are clen.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't allow horses in here." The horse then leaves.

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Ebola

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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