Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's dead

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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BOTTOM!!!

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Wolf Pussy

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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