So one time there was this woman learning...

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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