Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Once upon a time, there was a pair of headphones. It loved the sound of music.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

drake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops