Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

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planking.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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i love to lick...

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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