What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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Moral

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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