What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Their, they're, there You're, your

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops