A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops