what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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womens rights

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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Why did the straight man turn gay? He didn't. He was always gay but had to hide this from his family and friends because of an overwhelming sense of homophobia in his community.

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wtf the enter the following thingie says I am here

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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