How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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knock knock? come in

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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A fat guy!

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Mullets

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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