A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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