timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I had a submarine.... once

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i love to lick...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

balls in ya mouf

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops