Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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womens rights

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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