knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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