A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

what was the dying mans last words? im dying

Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

Man goes fishing.... Catches Fish.

I'd like to make a withdraw

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

You're so gay you actively seek homosexuals relationships.

why did the blue berry cross the road

What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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