What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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