Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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