A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

a Polar bear in an Igloo.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -23

women's rights, lol

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down

Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Miscarriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops