How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Meow.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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A bar walks into a man

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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