How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

4 Jews are killed during a car accident, the whole city mourns over there death and create a plaque in their honor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -47

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In soviet Russia...things are different

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops